Deep Ball. Jaw Line. Moxy. These are just some of the words that come to mind when you think of a Chicago Bears quarterback. The Bears are beginning a new era at the quarterback position. This off-season, they signed Mike Glennon to be their starting QB and drafted Mitch Trubisky in the 1st round to wait in the wings. The Jay Cutler experiment has come to a close, and I have mixed emotions about it. Statistically speaking, Cutler is the best quarterback in franchise history, but he has nothing to show for it. One thing is for sure, it was time to move on and the Bears have a great opportunity to find their franchise quarterback with two potential options on the roster. Many people, including myself, believe Mitch Trubisky will be that guy, but do not discount the potential of Mike Glennon. Glennon never really got a fair shake in Tampa, and he is well respected around the league. With that being said, these guys have yet to prove they have what it takes to be a Chicago Bears starting quarterback. To be a modern day Bear’s starting quarterback there are a few categories in which you must excel. I will benchmark the 2 newcomers to the Bears last 3 full time starters; Rex Grossman, Kyle Orton, and Jay Cutler. The categories in question are as follows:

Fantastic Jaw Line

While Jay Cutler and Kyle Orton excelled in this category, Rex Grossman lagged behind, which is probably why he couldn’t win Super Bowl XLI for the Bears. Kyle Orton might go down as having the best neck-beard in NFL history.

Orton You're Cute

That thing Makes Jonah Hill look like some baby-faced loser.


Orton may not have been a stud in the league, but one thing is for sure; he made the women come crawling with that facial hair. Cutler on the other hand never had tremendous facial hair like Orton, but when clean shaven, he had one of the strongest chins in the game.


That extra padding underneath his chin likely prevented a concussion or 2 during his career, which was a blessing to opposing defense’s interception totals.

How they stack up:

Glennon: This guy was bred to be a Chicago Bears starting QB with that jaw line. Giraffe-like neck, neck beard and the slight double chin. That’s what we in Chicago call the trifecta.  He will exceed all expectations in this category.

Grade: A


Trubisky: Ehh, I’ll be honest. This doesn’t really do it for me. Yes, he is a good looking guy but that jaw line is lacking a little character.

Grade: D+


Rocket Arm

God damn if Rex Grossman didn’t have an absolute cannon. Grossman is a lot like North Korea in the sense that he routinely tested his missile launching capabilities, but almost never hit the intended target. Jay Cutler was also a strong armed QB in this league. His problem was that he liked to throw the ball 25 yards too deep, often where a roaming safety just happened to be. Orton had a relatively weak arm, but he made up with it with his other strong traits.

How they stack up:

Glennon: By all accounts, Glennon has a strong arm, but he is no Jamarcus Russell.

Grade: C

Trubisky: Mitchy can throw the ball with ferocious velocity, but I haven’t seen enough game film to say he can push the ball down the field like a Bears QB should.

Grade: C+

Personal Style/ Moxy

Oh baby, this is a category where all 3 former QBs have flourished. Sexy Rexy loved the Matrix trilogy so much that he tried entering the Matrix himself.


Orton and Cutler both had that IDGAF attitude. Orton showed it with his personal grooming (see neckbeard above) and his knack for being the life of the party.


Cutler routinely showed it by public displays of affection and instagram posts by his wife. Nothing says IDGAF like giving the bird to the paparazzi and standing naked on the shoreline, pondering your future as a TV analyst.


How they stack up:

Glennon: To be honest, I don’t have enough intel in this area but that lack of intel is telling. Because we don’t have any proof, we have to assume Glennon falls short here.

Grade: D

Trubisky: This is a difficult one. When the Bears brass met with him in North Carolina, he made dinner reservations under the alias “James McMahon” to keep it under wraps. Huge points there for paying homage to the punky QB, Jim McMahon. The main knock on Mitch is that he still drives a 1997 Toyota Camry. Can’t be driving a relic and expect to grade highly in this category.

Grade: C+

Overall, Glennon seems to have a stronger resume to be a prototypical Bears’ quarterback. Trubisky, however, is only a rookie and has some time to develop these traits. We’ll see how it all plays out in 2017. Bear Down.