I am a busy man. I spend every waking moment grinding out at my 9-5 as a desk jockey or pushing out blogs in my free time, I do not have time to watch movies. If there is one thing about me that is absolutely true, it is that I like to act like an expert on all things, even if I am not an expert in the matter. That’s where I stand with these movie reviews. I am too lazy and too busy to actually see them but I still want to give my 2 cents and give you my opinion. The first movie trailer I will be reviewing is 47 Meters Down.

Story Line/Prediction

Classic thriller plot. A couple of fun-loving young ladies go on vacation, poised to have the time of their lives… Until something goes WAY wrong. Real original. Well the trailer makes no secret that these girls go into a cage to see some sharks and all should be fine and dandy, until the rope snaps and they ascend to the bottom of the ocean. The suspense is surrounded by whether these girls will live to tell the story. I think it is fair to predict that one of the 2 girls is a goner. No chance they don’t have one live and one die. So bank one of them to be eaten by a shark about half way through the movie. They will probably make the remaining chick look as good as gone too until she is miraculously saved at the end. Lock it up and throw away the key. This is how this movie plays out.

 

Production Value

Let me start out by saying the CGI doesn’t look terrible for the actual film, but the trailers look amateur in my expert opinion. I guess its not exactly easy to make a horror movie about sharks look intriguing in a trailer, but nobody said it would be easy. I saw a trailer that said “The best shark movie since Jaws.” (Cant find the video). That’s pretty high praise considering 47 Meters Down is competing with the likes of Sharknado and Deep Blue Sea. Once you start throwing out testimonials to draw interest, you look desperate IMO.

 

Star Power

I wish I could be a fly on the wall when the execs were planning out this movie.

 

“Okay were gonna make a shark movie, the plan is to play the trailer every 5 minutes to annoy the shit out of people into actually seeing it. Only problem is that we need a big draw. Any ideas?”

“Three words: Mandy freakin’ Moore.”

“Brilliant.”

Not wanting to get outmatched by Sharknado’s casting of Tara Reid, 47 Meters Down opened up their pocket books and nabbed Mandy Moore. To be honest, I didn’t even know Mandy Moore acted. I know she had a couple of semi-successful songs like 20 years ago and made a few cameos in Entourage which I guess is enough to warrant the starring role in this Shark BLOCKBUSTER. If this thrilling storyline cant put asses in the seats, then you can bet your bottom dollar that Mandy Moore will.

 

Ratings and Recommendation

This trailer didn’t do it for me. Ive seen enough to grade this movie a Ben’s List 3/10. Don’t see it in theaters, don’t order it on demand when it comes out, hell don’t even watch it on the USA network in 3 years. Stay tuned for more Movie Trailer Reviews.